Thank You for Another Incredible Relay for Rachael

 I’m still overwhelmed with gratitude after this year’s Relay for Rachael. Seeing the community come together year after year in support of me and my care continues to leave me speechless. The love, generosity, and dedication surrounding this event mean more to me than I can fully express.

Congratulations to this year’s winning relay team, The Heydays, beat We Be Lazies by just one minute!

Thank  you to the incredible runners who dedicate themselves to training, fundraising, and showing up year after year. Your commitment, energy, and love make this event what it is.

A special thank you to The Treadmill in Carmel for supporting my runners over the years with shoes and gear. Your generosity and encouragement have meant so much to our team.

Thank you to Henry Miller Memorial Library for hosting this year’s fundraising dinner in Big Sur, and to Hyson, Makiah and crew for creating such a special evening.

Thank you to Levi and Zarosh for the amazing relay T-shirts, to Paul the post-race pizzas, and to Ulisses for the post-race massages and care for my runners.

Thank you to KRML Radio for hosting us on the radio and helping spread the word about the relay and fundraiser.

Thank you, Sven, for your incredible behind-the-scenes work in ensuring the website remains up-to-date with the donations received during the fundraiser.

And most of all, thank you for your continued support, it means the world to me. It is both inspiring and deeply moving to witness the community come together the way it does. I feel so loved and supported. 

Thank you all for being part of this journey with me.

Relay for Rachael! April 26, 2026

 It's that time! 

16th annual Relay for Rachael! Sunday, April 26th at the Big Sur Marathon!

This year we have 6 relay teams running fast, training hard, and raising funds! Plus two full marathoners and a runner running 100 miles in April! All money raised goes towards my caregivers who help me get through my days. 

It’s been a challenging few months, with multiple surgeries and recovery. Another surgery and recovery are scheduled for a few months from now. Amidst these physical challenges, I’m focusing on healing and prioritizing my health.

Unfortunately, we hit a deer while driving my wheelchair-accessible vehicle a couple weeks ago, leaving me without a car. Navigating this situation has been difficult, especially when it comes to attending doctor’s appointments, running errands, and managing my gallery. Fortunately, I’ve been gradually finding resources in the community to help me get the necessary transportation.

The scariest part of the accident, the first one I’ve experienced since my spinal cord injury, was that my chest strap came undone, and I hit my head. I was very sore for a few days and kind of sore for a couple of weeks, but I’m feeling better. Not to mention the poor deer, oh dear.

I'm catching up on many things on my to-do list and doing the best I can with these challenges. As always, I am so grateful for your continued support, my community, family, and friends. I couldn't do it without you.

Be the Light!
www.relayforrachael.com

The unfortunate hospital stay...

Here's the long story of how I ended up in the hospital...trigger warning, if you are easily squeamish, don't read on.

About a month ago, I started feeling very weak, and my digestion had been off. I was having bad autonomic dyslexia. Autonomic dyslexia is something that people with spinal cord injuries experience; that's how we experience pain. I was profusely sweating from where I can feel, which is from my mid-chest and biceps up. I couldn't figure out why I was in so much pain or where it was coming from; this went on for about 5 days. I was doing all of the things to help, but nothing was working. Finally, we noticed a lump on my right butt cheek; the outside skin looked fine, but when palpated, it felt hard. I decided to go to the ER and get it looked at the next day. Once I was finally seen in the ER, they did a CT scan and found a perirectal abscess and wanted to do emergency surgery right away.

Rewind two weeks, I had a new caregiver; she showed up an hour and 30 minutes late for her first solo shift, leaving me alone and on my side waiting for her to show up. Then, while doing my bowel program, she poked me in my rectum with the enema and caused bleeding. I was obviously concerned, but when I did my bowel program the next day, there was no blood, and things seemed to be OK. I never saw her again…

So back to the ER, when the doctor told me about the abscess, I said it might've happened when a caregiver was doing my bowel program two weeks prior; they found that hard to believe but said it could be possible. I had my emergency surgery on Monday night, November 24, and was admitted into the hospital. 

The next morning, the surgeon informed me that they would have to do two more surgeries the next day, one to repair a hole in the side of my rectum and one for a diversion colostomy. He said I may end up with the colostomy bag permanently, and that people with my injury often prefer it and that I might want to think about it. I informed him that I absolutely did not want that. I have worked so hard not to have one. 

After the second two surgeries, the surgeon said he was cautiously optimistic that I would be able to get the colostomy reversed, probably in 6 to 12 months. Fast forward to now. My surgeon has been very happy with my recovery, and he thinks in 3 to 4 months I should be able to get it reversed. This does mean another hospital stay unfortunately…In the meantime, I am doing everything possible to heal as quickly as I can, eating all of the right foods, getting rest, and continuing to get my movement. Once he saw the damage to my rectum, he said it did look like someone had punctured a hole in between my interior and exterior wall of the rectum. Thank goodness it didn't go all the way through.

I always try to make the best of a very shitty situation. We had many humorous moments while in the hospital. Starting with me shooting out of my anesthesia after the first surgery, more awake than the nurses said they had ever seen someone. This is most likely because I was convinced the very angelic-faced anesthesiologist before the surgery was going to kill me, saying I might wake up in the ICU if I wasn't able to start breathing on my own after the surgery and that they were concerned about my autonomic dysreflexia. Not today, lady! I have no idea what I was saying to those nurses after the surgery, but I do know they were laughing. I encouraged the transporter who pushed my bed from the ER up to my room to race my caregiver, who I had convinced to sit in my wheelchair and turn on high speed. We now joke about me having two butt holes, and that the drainage tube out of my abscess looked like my butt was smoking a cigarette (fortunately, that is gone now). 

The last day I was in the hospital, my surgeon came in and said I was able to go home. “Rock 'n' roll,” he said. So here I am, rock 'n' roll...

15-year crashiversary came and went… and the loss of Shadow.

 My 15-year crashiversary came and went on October 31/November 1… I didn’t have much to say that was positive, so I didn’t feel like saying much at all. Looking back six weeks, I wish I was where I was then. I’ll share more about that in my next post.

Unexpectedly, I lost both of my daytime caregivers mid-October, which always turns my life upside down. Not only does this leave me without somebody to train a new person to help me get through my days, it also means I can't get to my physical therapy appointments during the week or do my home rehab, or have the basics of getting up and showering, etc.; this affects both my mental and physical health. 

With everything I have to deal with with my spinal cord injury, the hardest thing is to find good caregivers whom I can trust and depend on. Over the years, I’ve had some really great caregivers who have become lifelong friends, but unfortunately, it seems more recently the bad has outweighed the good. I keep trying to think positively; I know the right people will come my way.

On November 13th, I had to put my dog Shadow down after 12+ years. He lived a good, long life and is already greatly missed. Every time I hear a siren go by, I wait to hear him bark incessantly. Every morning, I miss him brushing up against my bed when he hears my caregiver come through the gate. A lot of my daily routine revolved around him. It’s quiet around here now. I’m so thankful that I was able to adopt him from the SPCA and give him a good, long life. He was a great companion, very entertaining, and so good with my caregivers, other dogs, and kids. He only sometimes had issues with certain adults, sorry about that. Run free, Shadow Bruno Mars. I hope you’re with my brother, Alex, and Zim.

Another Relay for Rachael, another year forward…

It was a wet and cold day for the Big Sur marathon this year, but we still had a great time. I had one friend run the full marathon, she said she's lost track of how many she has run! Another friend ran the half marathon in Stratford-upon-Avon, England for the Shakespeare half marathon, another friend ran 100 miles in the month of April and I had five relay teams all running and supporting me. Congratulations We Be Lazies for being the fastest relay team! 

This is my annual fundraiser to help pay for my yearly out-of-pocket care costs. I am so grateful and thankful for the support I continue to receive. My runners, donors, family and friends thank you all so much. You keep the journey going…

The runners!

The winning team! We be Lazies! I guess they weren't so lazy! Each runner on the team got a new pair of shoes gifted from The Treadmill!

15th annual relay for Rachael! Sunday, April 27th at the Big Sur Marathon

It's that time again! Relay for Rachael at the Big Sur marathon! Year after year i'm in awe by the support of my community who continues to support me and my rehab journey. Without you I would not have the care and therapies I rely on to stay healthy, both mentally and physically. I think about the people who aren't as fortunate as I am, who do not have the help they need, who are unable to get out of their wheelchairs and get movement and it makes me realize how fortunate I am.

I am so grateful for all of you. Thank you!

Relay for Rachael

 

14 year crashiversary

It feels way longer, when it used to feel like yesterday...

Now it feels like just another day.

One third of my life I have been living in this body, every day a challenge, every day hard work. 

The constant battle to stay healthy and out of the hospital remains my top priority. I am thankful every day for the support I have from the people in my life and beyond. The caregivers, my friends and family, my trainers and body workers, my doctors and healthcare professionals, the people who donate to my fundraiser year after year, I am so grateful to all of you. 

I am very fortunate.

After some time of not having enough caregivers I finally have a stable schedule. I am so relieved! This has allowed me to get back to my aqua therapy once a week and to my other therapy appointments.

This has also allowed me to have time for the gallery and my photography. Gallery Exposed just celebrated 15 years in October and I will be releasing my 2025 fine art calendar soon. I'm hoping to be able to spend more time doing my photography and art in the upcoming year.

Below are images my friend Domini and AI created. Trippy! Don't worry, I don't have that much hardware!

Until next time...

Be the Light

 

Another awesome Relay for Rachael. Thank you!

 Wow, what an amazing and exciting year for the Relay for Rachael, and we reached the goal!

I am so inspired by my runners and walkers who showed up before the sun last month and hit Highway 1 to help raise funds for my care and therapies. The positive energy and inspiration was contagious. Team Thighs on Fire came in first out of my relay teams and The Treadmill once again gave each runner on that team a new pair of shoes!
I had six full marathon runners this year, three of whom were running their first marathons! Congratulations to all!

Year after year I am in awe of the support that all of you continue to give me. I wouldn't be where I am today without you. Saying thank you doesn't seem to be enough, but I say it again, thank you to everyone who has donated and participated. It means everything…

Every dollar donated goes to my caregivers and trainers who keep me going every day. The search for caregivers has become extra hard these last few years, and I’m only as successful as the people around me. If you know of any strong and responsible caregivers please send them my way.

And the journey continues…
Thank you for BEing THE LIGHT!

More photos on our Instagram! Here!

14th annual relay for Rachael!

On Sunday, April 28, 2024 my runners will be hitting highway 1 in part of the Big Sur marathon for the 14th annual Relay for Rachael. Started by a group of friends after my car accident in 2010, this has been my annual fundraiser to help with my care and therapy costs. Without this annual event, I don’t know how I would be getting through my days. I am so grateful for all of my runners and for all of you who continue to support me year after year. Thank you for BEing my light!

Grief, life, and continuing on…

Annually since my accident on Halloween in 2010 I’ve posted an update here. It’s a way for me to update the people who support me year after year and also a way to check in with myself. This year I felt like I had nothing to give so it has taken me a while to post here.

With the grief of my aunt’s passing still weighing heavily on me from June 22, 2022, my brother passed away this year on June 16, 2023. 

I’ve been torn between wanting to honor him for the amazing person he was, and also wanting to acknowledge the struggle with addiction that he had been battling. He would brush me off and get upset when I would talk to him about his depression and addiction, and this has made me not want to talk about it, because I didn't want to upset him, but if we never talk about it nothing is going to change. I’m sorry brother, but I feel like I need to say something.

His story is one that we are hearing far too often. The isolation and chaos of the pandemic in 2020 really put Alex into a dark place. He had since been trying to get himself out of that place. He had been doing really well the prior six months, and doing all the right things to get his life moving forward again. He changed up his living situation and realized he needed to be less isolated, he had been staying active with his men’s soccer team, backpacking and training to run in my Relay for Rachael fundraiser. He was getting out and being more social and trying to surround himself with the right people. 

The last time I saw him was two weeks before he passed away, he asked if I wanted to go down to a Big Sur softball game, a league he had played in. We had a nice drive down the coast and talked about the future, he sounded good and optimistic. Honestly, the last few years our relationship had been rocky. During the pandemic he was alone too much sitting with his own thoughts, and I had not been reaching out enough because I was caught up in my own life, dealing with Covid and caregivers, etc. I think Alex, like a lot of people was good at hiding how bad it really was. And then fentanyl came into the picture and that changed everything, a drug that is more addicting and more lethal than ever before.

Alex was smart beyond his years, creative, athletic, funny, talented in music and the arts. He had a love for animals and the outdoors. He could be tough, but soft. He supported me in my photography, and my rehab, he would come cook me delicious meals, his risotto was the best. We had a beautiful memorial in September celebrating his life. Connecting with his friends has been one of the most healing things. I may have lost a brother, but I feel that I have gained brothers and sisters. I’ve yet to use an emoji since the day he passed, grief does strange things, but I do see a path foward. My brother made me a better person and not having him by my side is another lost in my life that I will have to learn to live with.

Dealing with grief the last couple years has made me realize how much I was grieving after my accident over the loss of my able-bodied life. And now at 13 years my so-called “crashiversary” doesn’t seem as significant anymore. I now spend the anniversary of my car accident setting up an altar for Dia de los Muertos, honoring my ancestors who made me who I am, and who continue to guide me daily.

I look forward to 2024 with hope, it can’t keep going like this. After a year of feeling like I was struggling for survival every day between life crap and the struggles with finding and keeping caregivers, something has to give. I lost three caregivers this year unexpectedly, with no notice due to personal or health reasons. One of whom had been with me for six years. Because of these daily struggles i’ve had no time to focus on my photography or the gallery, or any free time in general. Already as it is living with a spinal cord injury you have very little free time. Everything takes forever. I feel like a lot of people think I just sit around and have all the time in the world which is the exact opposite of my reality. My main focus is on the necessities: eating, sleeping, bathing and getting the movement in my body that I need to stay healthy. Just these things are a full-time job. And when I am constantly dealing with new caregivers, everything takes that much longer. So I keep reminding myself to be patient and to be gentle on myself, and this too shall pass.

A huge positive this year, and the thing I am most grateful for is for my annual relay for Rachael fundraiser. This year we raised more money than ever. This keeps my life moving forward, every penny raised goes into the pockets of the people that get me up in the morning and put me to bed at night. With inflation and the cost of living going up, I am having to pay more to find the help I need. Constantly, every day I’m doing the math in my head, do I have the money to pay the people who are helping me. I am so grateful to those of you who support me year after year, words can’t express the gratitude I have for each and everyone of you. 

Thank you!

The 13th Relay for Rachael fundraiser was a huge success. Year after year I am blown away by the support I receive, I couldn’t do this life without the help from my friends and family. Every dollar raised goes into the pockets of the people who help me get through my days. My caregivers, my therapists, my trainers, they keep me moving forward. It’s a weird thing, and stressful, relying on another human to get you through your days, but knowing that I have the financial side covered for another year is a huge relief. 

My runners hit Highway 1 on Sunday, April 30th and ran their fastest or walked their longest or skipped their wierdest…the wind was blowing hard on Hurricane point but my runners still came into the finish line with smiles on their faces. It’s an awkward thing asking for help, but it makes me feel good knowing that I also inspire you. Thank you for allowing me, and inspiring me, to keep on moving.

We had so much fun at the fundraising dinner at the Carmel Valley Lodge on Friday, April 28th. Thank you again to the Lodge for hosting and to the Bitter Ginger, the Saucy Maiden and the Random Pickler for the delicious food.

And thank you again to The Treadmill in the Carmel Crossroads for gifting my winning relay team members, THE POTHOLES, each a new pair of shoes, and my marathoners each gift certificates.

Thank you!
With love and gratitude, Rachael